The Key Lime

My friend Miss K told me a story about a girl who had a pet snake that she let sleep in the bed with her. And not some little garter snake, nope a big ol’ constrictor. For a few weeks, the snake stopped eating its mice. Then, one night she woke up to find the snake all stretched out, as long as it could. She brought it to the vet and he was like “Yeah… Get rid of the snake. It was sizing you up to see if you would fit inside if it ate you.”

You will notice that the above snake isn’t even trying to stretch out. That baby is an easy dinner.

ihatemyparents:

Hey… when your done taking the picture can you dial the police for me…